I have been thinking a lot about listening lately. I have been thinking about how few people in American culture seem to know how to ask questions in a conversation and how many people think listening is waiting to talk. I have been thinking about listening as a metaphor for the kind of communication that I teach my nonprofit clients, who are striving to build deeper relationships with their stakeholders. I think about it often in the context of my intimate friendships, which always serves to remind me of what an active process listening is. And finally, of course, I think about listening in the context of tango.

Last Spring, I thoroughly enjoyed the workshop that Jaimes taught entitled "Five Steps to Tango Enlightenment". In it, he emphasized that tango was about paying attention (listening) to your body, to your partner, to the music, and to the dance floor. I found that beautiful, accurate, and deeply useful in its implications, despite its simplicity on the surface.

Focus for a moment on the idea of a leader listening to their follower. At first, it's easy to see that in terms of a moment. In this moment, what leg are they on? In this moment, how is their balance or where is their momentum?

But there is more to it than the moment. There is a rhythm of communication between leader and follower. Each lead can be seen as a question and the response is the answer. In fact, for me, it's far more powerful to think of them as questions than as statements. Some answers will delight us and some will befuddle us, but regardless of our reaction, the answers given are the answers given. It behooves us to listen to them.

Posted by Michael on 8/5/05; 1:04:08 AM